I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
