it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
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Another day, another engagement, another cat
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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