bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if only i could text you this smell
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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