i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
