I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
