I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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