You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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