I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They have beer where we have blood.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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