What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would ride that face into the sunset
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
