I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's just like the Real World with babies
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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