69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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