Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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