she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm too high and old for this...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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