is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
