You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
