my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
