There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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