that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need a burrito and a hug.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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