eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
