and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I deserve this hangover.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
