A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
