Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
