I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize