Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
