Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
