meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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