Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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