how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
