Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
