After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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