that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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