R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
