what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
two words...techno handjob
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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