It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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