you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
