Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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