Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
