for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
