bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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