youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
