don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
