You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
