Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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