I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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