I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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