So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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