There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
