I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
