Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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