I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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