hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
