He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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