my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
