I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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