I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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