4 words: hood of his car
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
