Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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