She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
