I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
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So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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