Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We need to get me chipped asap
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
