She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
