I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish i was in the wii world.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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