Where is the hickey?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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