let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
